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Showing posts from 2011

Rule No.70 – Don’t carry a grudge. While you’re carrying the grudge, the other guy is out dancing.

Classic. Tell you what, until recently I have been quite a good grudge holder. Big Guy and myself were quite good at it, while Mother Goose and Knitting Nancy are the total opposite. They would bite your head off and within 5 mins of the fight, offer you a cup of tea. Not Big Guy and I, we would need to go off and have some time to process it and give you a time out before we would consider a conversation with you again. But after some life experiences and situations, I have seen that the only person that suffers from you holding a grudge, is you. You miss out on that cup of tea and watch as the other person goes out dancing without a care in the world, meeting new people, laughing, having fun. It’s easier to hold a grudge though, than to forgive someone, that I have to admit, but if you don’t forgive, you just doing yourself an injustice. Lesson leant? Be mad at that person, but know when to forgive, let go and move on.

Rule No.69 - Truth is always exciting. Speak it then. Life is boring without it.

Not entirely true, sometimes the truth is not very exciting, sometime it just hurts like hell. I don’t think exciting would be the word i would use to explain it. Truth is interesting, necessary, complicating, even scary. Exciting, um, not always. Truth is one of the most important things in any relationship, including friendships, families and even work relationships. Without it, you basically have nothing. From truth comes trust, and if you trust someone, nothing else really matters. As soon as that trust is broken, as much as people say you can try earn it back, it wont come back. Like the old cliché about a broken vase . You can put it back together, but the cracks will always be there. Shew, not all gloom and doom, it is true, life would be incredibly boring without it. Truth keeps you on your toes, and when you find that someone to put your trust in and gain theirs, it feel like a million bucks. When you know that no matter what you tell them, they not going anywhere and that b

Rule No.68 - You don't save a pitcher for tomorrow. Tomorrow it may rain.

One must please forgive me lack of knowledge when it comes to baseball. At first glance I understood this rule as a pitcher full of wine or Pimm's. You can see my confusion. First of all, why on earth would you leave it till the next day, and then even if it was raining, whats to stop you from having some. Sigh. Anyway, after seeing who the quote was written by I was incredibly embarrassed to find out it was about a pitcher in a baseball team. How silly of me. I did think it insane that someone would ever tell you to save a pitcher of Pimm's for the next day. I think this rule also applies to the whole don't save your best china for special occasions, every day should be celebrated. What's the point of having them if you going to keep them in the cupboard until the fancy people come, what about your run of mill, everyday peeps. They should be even more special. So don't save that wine, the pitcher or the china for another day. If you have it, use it.

Rule No.67 - Do not be concerned with escaping safely.

“Forget about winning and losing; forget about pride and pain. Let your opponent graze your skin and you smash into his flesh; let him smash into your flesh and you fracture his bones; let him fracture your bones and you take his life! Do not be concerned with escaping safely- lay your life before him!!” Bruce Lee Okay, so we all think Chuck Norris is a legend. Well, who do think taught him to be so awesome. You have to be a SERIOUS legend to have Chuck Norris be your pallbearer at your funeral. I mean really. Bruce Lee remains an inspiration to many, including myself and Chuck and his legend lives on. A little while ago, a group of friends and I took this advice seriously when coming face to face with a real "American style" bar fight, like in the movies. There were pool cues, high heels, pulling hair, kicking, punching, i think there may have even been a chair involved. We had no regard for our safety. There were even a few that had no idea what the fight was about but g

Rule No.66 - Never let your sense of morals get in the way of doing what's right

Morals are taught to us by our parents, guardians, teachers and elders. They are concerned with the principles or rules of right conduct, distinction between right and wrong. Gandhi's brand of civil resistance is built around this quote. It's okay to break the rules as long as you do it non-violently, the rule is unjust, and are willing to accept the consequences. Another example of this rule is all the people that who hid or otherwise helped Jews during World War II. In the US military, you can get away with breaking the rules to do the right thing provided that you have a legitimate excuse and someone in a position of authority believes you. Similar to the Jewish rules, Islam also has exceptions in order to save someone, including oneself. For instance, eating pork is perfectly acceptable if no other food is available in an emergency. Human is not actually on the list of food prohibitions, in dire situations (though if you murder someone to eat them because you're starvi

Rule No.65 - Life is short, avoid causing yawns.

Today, the 1st December, is World Aids Day. It is a day like this that makes you realise just how short life is. I am wearing my red (well ox-blood) Christopher Strong dress today with my little red ribbon to show my support as I hope you are too. Life is short. How often do we say that but then don't end up doing anything about it. Now, my friend Gee has it all sorted out. He has helped me see that it is never too late to do what you want to do. He has signed up for music lessons, went bungee jumping the other day, bought a new camera to start taking amazing photos and lives each and every day as if it's the last. He's making the effort, doing what needs to be done and smiling all the way. This past weekend we played a game in the car on our journey away, asking questions and the first thing that comes to mind you had to say, one of the questions was "I am most afraid of..." and my immediate response was "dying before I have done all the things I want to d

Rule No.64 - Don't take any of it too seriously

" Take a deep breath and don’t take any of it too seriously.” Cher Thanks Cher, that's what we do when we see you in a new outfit. Kidding! This is one of those rules that I could agree with as well as disagree. Shew, profound Suze! Lately I have been taking things anything but seriously, it's taken me a while to get here though. Life just seems so much darker and heavier when you serious about it, but as soon as you take it with a pinch of salt, its easier. Even when you get a R500 fine for parking in the wrong place like I did this morning. If I had been all serious about it, my day probably would have sucked. But instead, I gave the cop a bit of a hard time by saying an incredibly sincere thank you for being so understanding of my situation and wished her a pleasant day further. I could have been really mad and fought with her, but then she would win. Now, on the flip side, I've found out that some things you have to take seriously. Like raising a child, deciding t

Rule No.63 - Don't long for the unripe grape

"It’s clear that to blend together unripe grapes and over-ripe grapes doesn’t result in a balanced wine. Indeed, under-ripe grapes are completely undesirable and can ruin a wine, not add freshness." Nothing worse than a bad wine so why on earth would you long for the unripe grape. What beats a gorgeous glass of Sauvignon on a hot day, or sitting by the fire in the middle of winter with a delicious glass of Merlot? I know, not much! By longing for the unripe grape you just trying to hurry a good wine which just is not done. Okay, I make joke, this is quite obviously not what this rule is about. I understand it as a patience rule. By longing for the unripe grape you are only torturing yourself and putting an unnecessary pressure on yourself, where you could just be at peace with it and give it time to grow into the most amazing fruit. Somebody I used to know once complained about an unripe grape he had and made himself miserable, but with time and patience now, i think he has

Rule No.62 - If you liked a book, don't meet the author.

“Wanting to meet an author because you like his work is like wanting to meet a duck because you like paté." I am not entirely sure how this relates to life and rules to live by but it really does suck when you have read a book and enjoyed it and then you find out that the author is a real muppet, it kind of ruins everything, the sincerity of the book as well as the feeling you got as you were reading it. I get the same about music. If I see a music video that is really quite horrible, it ruins the song for me. I am a very visual person though, that's my excuse and I'm sticking with it. Maybe what the writer is saying is that you should take something for its face value? When you start digging deeper you may find something you don't particularly like and then it ruins everything that you once enjoyed that specific thing for.

Rule No.61 - Keep fightin' for freedom and justice, beloveds, but don't you forget to have fun doin' it....

.......Lord, let your laughter ring forth. Be outrageous, ridicule the fraidy-cat, rejoice in all the oddities that freedom can produce. And when you get through kickin' ass and celebratin' the sheer joy of a good fight, be sure to tell those who come after how much fun it was." Molly Ivins Quite an appropriate quote for us in South Africa right now with the Secrecy Bill being passed. To quote Nelson Mandela, “ A bad free press is preferable to a technically good, subservient one .” We dubbed the day Black Tuesday and as the voting began hundreds gathered outside Parliament as a union to protest this silly Bill. Khaya Dlanga put it perfectly in his article " Secrecy bill: Opposition to blame" " The people need to be protected from the government; it is not the government that must protect itself from the people. A government that shields itself from the people cannot be trusted ." Hidden Treasure was one of those good people out there fighting for our r

Rule No.60 - Don't be humble. You're not that great.

(Thank you to two gorgeous Grade 1's for their wishes) hum·ble   [ huhm -b uh l , uhm - adjective, -bler, -blest, verb, -bled, -bling. Not proud or arrogant; modest; subservience; marked by meekness or modesty;self-effacing I have been going over and over and over with this quote because I have the opinion that one can be humbled. But then I realised that that was the difference. Being humbled as opposed to being humble is a big difference. When I came back from India, I felt very humbled by the people there, but it didn't make me humble. A friend of mine and his family are an incredibly humble family because they give everything they have to others that have none and never expect anything in return. This past weekend they organised a day for 700 mom's and kids to meet at a point in Mitchell's Plain where we fed them and gave all the children a gift for Christmas. That for me, makes them humble people. You don't have to be famous like Mother Teresa to be humb

Rule No.59 - If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.

"Bull", meaning nonsense, dates from the 17th century, while the term "bull*&$*" has been used as early as 1915 in American slang , and came into popular usage only during World War II . The word "bull" itself may have derived from the Old French boul meaning "fraud, deceit" (Oxford English Dictionary). The term "horse*&$*" is a near synonym. Worthy of note is the South African English equivalent "bull dust". Few corresponding terms exist in other languages, with the significant exception of German Bockmist , literally "billy-goat *&%*". Funny, Suze Original and I were talking about this the other day. She went for an interview and we were laughing cause we both do the same thing. They ask you a simple question that could be answered in a line or two but we both start elaborating so much trying to make a good impression that what started as "My favorite hobby is... right to.. and that's why I

Rule No.58 - It's not what you are that counts, it's what they think you are.

Before there is any confusion, I must tell you that I am a huge Andy Warhol fan, I think that he was an incredibly talented person with such amazing creativity that it actually blows my mind sometimes. That being said, I think this quote is a complete contradiction of all theothers where we have been chatting about being true to yourself and never wavering for anyone. Now Andy says it doesn't really matter what you are, but rather what others think of you. That counts more. I suppose this quote comes from someone that was also quoted saying this: "I don't believe in love. . . I want to be a machine . . . I like boring things. . . I like things to be the same over and over again . . . I love Los Angeles . . . I love Hollywood . . . They're so beautiful . . . Everything's plastic, but I love plastic . . . I want to be plastic." So let's take it with a pinch of salt, and a spoonful of Andy and even though at times it seems way more important what people thin

Rule No.57 - Certainly the game is rigged. Don't let that stop you; if you don't bet, you can't win

Lazarus Long is a fictional character featured in a number of science fiction novels by Robert A. Heinlein . Born in 1912 in the third generation of a selective breeding experiment , Lazarus becomes unusually long-lived, living well over two thousand years due to rejuvenation treatments. I must admit, I have never read any Robert A. Heinlein books so I can't tell if this was one of his ground breaking sayings, or if he had lots and they just thought this one was the best to put on "rules to live by". Kinda random i think, but hey. So my much deeper side thinks this quote is doing like a "you can't expect to win anything if you didn't put anything into it" kind of vibe, even if you know there might be some rigging. Maybe the rigging goes in your favour, but if you didn't try, you'd have lost anyway without even starting. For example, you can't expect to make millions or be successful in your job, if you don't put anything in. If you j

Rule No. 56 - Stop eating while still hungry and do not continue until you are satisfied.

Saint John Cassian , born 360, died 435, has a day named after him, Eastern feast day February 29. He was an ascetic, monk, theologian, and founder and first abbot of the famous abbey of Saint-Victor. With no disrespect whatsoever, Saint John obviously didn't have a drop of Lebanese blood in him. This is a rule I would dearly love to live by, but I'm afraid that is impossible. We were taught, from the day we started eating, to finish what's on your plate. Our brains only tell us once we have eaten everything off our plates, that it is far too late, you were actually full about 20 mouthfuls ago. I am sure Saint John Cassian never over indulged in his whole life, but he obviously didn't have a family like mine that is only happy when you eating. When people come over, we just want to feed them. Our Mom's aprons go on and within seconds there is a 7 course meal made up, and that's just for tea time. Okay, slight exaggeration, but we really do love to eat. They say

Rule No.55 - Never tell people how you are. They don't want to know.

"Hey, how you doing?" "Well, you know, short on cash at the moment, and I've had a bit of a scratchy throat, think I'm getting the flu. Not sleeping so well lately, that's why I have these big bags under my eyes. So tired of this cold weather, I mean, it's meant to be summer? Like seriously. But otherwise, I'm not too bad hey. How about you?" No! We don't want to know all that. When we say how you doing, it's just an extension of hi. We don't actually want to know how sore your throat is, or how hard done by you are, or even how amazing your boyfriend is. The other really crap response is "well, no use complaining." By saying that, we know immediately that your life isn't so great and you'd like us to know that and feel bad for you, without actually going into detail. A friend of mine told me the other day that he has a deal with one of his friends, no matter how they are feeling, when they ask each other, the reply

Rule No.54 - If you have an important point to make, don't try to be subtle or clever. Use a pile driver. Hit the point once...

...Then come back and hit it again. Then hit it a third time - a tremendous whack. Shew, a little excessive don't you think Sir Winston Leonard Spencer-Churchill. Although, with a name like that, who could blame him. I think he had it right in the first half, till "hit the point once". You should make your point once, and it should be loud and clear enough, that you don't have to repeat it again. Your tremendous whack should be your first hit. If this is the case though, you have to believe 110% in your point and back it up completely. Cause once you have gone out there, you cant go back on it. He is so right in saying "don't be subtle or clever". When did being subtle ever help anyone? Well, I can't think of anyone that got their point across by subtly hinting. I think that this is something you can only learn over time and with experience but I do believe that if you are completely true to yourself, you will do what you need to, to deliver that tre

Rule No.53 - Take it easy, but take it.

This quote is by Woody Guthrie, who I must admit, I had never heard of until today. he was best known as an American singer-songwriter and folk musician , whose musical legacy includes hundreds of political, traditional and children's songs, ballads and improvised works. He was a free spirit and inspired many young people. How I understand this, and again, I could be wrong, is that you should take it easy, but make sure you dont take it so easy that you miss out on things. So, take life in your stride but try not to be so chilled out that things fly past you and you miss out. There is a difference between chilling and being horizontal. Not too big on this rule, so let's move on.

Rule No.52 - The boss is never your friend, even if you're sleeping with him.

After a bit of research on this topic, and when I say research I mean I googled it, two articles stood out the most for me. One was "Sleeping with the Boss - Why it's a bad idea". Here they go on about how this is a completely terrible idea, and that it not only effects you but all the people in the office. They say it might feel like a power trip at the time but then things always tend to get complicated and one of you will have to leave eventually. All very true facts. I agree one hundred percent. Sayings like, don't foul your own nest. Don't shoot holes in your own boat. Then I came across this article. "How to sleep with the boss". Say what? This tells you how to go about getting in there in 5 easy steps. Then it says at the bottom, difficulty of task: moderately challenging. SERIOUSLY. Just to top it all off, it finishes with tips or warnings: Buy a bottle of wine or cocktails at dinner to loosen her up. Finished! I think it is possible to be fri

Rule No.51 - When angry, count four; when very angry, swear.

Well, well, well. Did this happen to me this morning or what. Hells bells. What started out as a good day, with me opening my eyes and being allowed another day and being grateful for it, turned to disaster. Waking up with hay-fever is never great, but waking up with hay-fever and sinus on top of it is just plain sucky. So off to the shower, only to have it block on me, awesome. No problem, keep going. It is, after all, no negativity Wednesday. Go to the fridge to grab some lunch for the day, empty fridge. All good, I'll leave a little earlier so I can stop at Kauai for a smoothie. Of course, this is the best time for the skies to open and get hold of my just straightened hair. I get to the car, forgot my tea flask. Back inside. Back to the car, forgot my charger, phone about to go dead. Back inside. One, two.... By now, it's the same time I have to leave to be on time at work. As I came over the first big hill, we all almost come to a stand still. Nothing like a big truck on t

Rule No.50 - If you have only one smile in you, give it to the people you love...

....Don't be surly at home, then go out in the street and start grinning "Good morning" at total strangers. This is a quote from one of my top 10 favorite people in the world, Maya Angelou. Not only is she an incredible writer and poet, she is an absolute inspiration to woman. In her quote today, she describes using your only smile, if you only have one for that day, on your family and loved ones. Why waste it on strangers that probably wont even appreciate it. Now don't you shake your head, we are all guilty of this. Grumpy pants at home and then as we go out in public it's all smiles and fun so that people think you are fine and dandy. Well, now that Maya has pointed it out, you'll be more conscious of it and next time you feeling grumpy around your loved ones, think of this quote and remember your smile will be appreciated by them rather than by the stranger outside. PS. Cinderella, don't stress. Everything will be fine and the right thing will come! x

Rule No.49 - Don't be afraid of missing opportunities. Behind every failure is an opportunity somebody wishes they had missed.

So all of us have at some stage of our lives, some of us more than others, failed at something. After this, we wish we had never done it, that we had missed that boat in the first place. But that boat was made for someone, and once you have jumped ship or even sunk it, that someone will take over and recover the boat and sail into the sunset. Too cryptic? How else do I say this. Let's use me as an example. I had a job at one stage, it came out of nowhere and I thought it was a blessing in disguise. I ended up working 12 plus hours a day and being treated, well, not the way one wants to be. So at the end of it, even though it added to my life experience, I kinda wished i had missed that opportunity cause I missed out on a lot of living and friends and family. Straight after me though, they found someone that was perfect for the job with a capital P. Same with relationships, after a break up you always wish that you didn't have to go through all that, cause in the end it seems li

My Gold Heart

"My gold heart is a pretty, small 9 ct gold dipped heart. The shining heart symbolizes the love and compassion inherent in each of us. The little seed of love sits around your neck and keeps you company throughout your day. It serves as a reminder that we have a choice to act from a place of compassion in each moment." Last year December I received a gift from a little 7 year old that I tutored and it was one of these gold hearts. She told me that I had to wear it until it fell off by itself and that I needed to make a wish on it every day. So I wore this necklace until today, when it finally fell of. Now the interesting part is, my wish just came true this morning about 30 minutes before my necklace fell off. Call it superstitious, call it accidental, you can even call it silly, but I knew when the little heart slipped down my neck, that my wish had come true. Miracles do happen.